Happy fact: A BBC News program broadcast in 1957 ended claiming that spaghetti grew on trees on a farm in Switzerland. Many viewers believed the report and called the BBC asking how to grow their own trees. Their response: “Place a sprig of spaghetti in a tin of tomato sauce and hope for the best.”
Currently sitting in my custom made $6,220,000 red velvet gold trimmed armchair, sipping on a nice glass of 100 year old Henri IV Dudognon Heritage Cognac Grande Champagne, worth over a million dollars, petting my Maine Coon cat named Egbert Jr, reminiscing on the good times. Just because I'm a rich son of a [EBL] doesn't mean I have my life in order. Not one bit. I'm half a billion dollars in debt from uhhh.. let's just say that I tried to run a complicated pyramid scheme involving tupperware containers that got horribly out of control. I have no friends, my family died as a result of my tupperware pyramid scheme failure (I really don't wish to get into that right now). My $1250 Maine Coon cat is the only thing keeping me from ending it all. Anyone else here going through something similar who would like to share their experience?
I had a €7.440.000 armchair once. Dark green leather. Gorgeous craftsmanship I tell you. But when the queen of England (we often organise a high tea for Illuminati members at my €300.000.000 holiday castle somewhere in Germany) sat down she broke it. Gone luxurious armchair! Luckily my high end watch company is profitable enough to replace the armchair (damn you, warrantee). But my company wasn’t always so profitable. As it turns out, the materials used for my high end watches are as expensive as my special Fabergé vodka! So there I was in dept, sipping from my vodka all alone, petting my T-Rex skull while observing my valuable collection of antquities. But alas, none other than president Vladimir Putin of the Russian Federation decided to make a small donation of €800.000.000 in the high end watch Company! I was saved! Fret not, my friend, for I am sure someone will give you a small donation someday soon!
Ah, old mate John? Me and him were close buddies before I involved him in my tupperware pyramid scheme. After that colossal failure we went our separate ways. I miss him so much. He was my rock. My world. My shoulder to lean on. My bro to platonically kiss... among other things.
This is the exact kinda witchhunting I’m on about. People blaming others rather than looking at themselves. Sure some people are causing problems, but the reactions to those problems are just as problematic