Note: Sorry for any grammar mistakes. I tend to look over and miss them.
2nd Note: I recently made this account just to say why I'm quitting and that I want to be a part of the forums for Deepworld.
3rd Note: Sorry, if I sound hypocritical somewhere in the text.
After thinking for a long time about quitting DW.
I've gone to my final conclusion that I will be quitting. I don't know if this will be permanent or just temporary.
I'm going to try to be as transparent I can be to you guys and to all the players that will possibly find this. All of this is coming from my heart and all of it in one go.
Hear me out, I just want to talk about who I am as a person. You guys probably won't be my friends anymore after reading this part. This is probably the hardest thing I've ever said in my life.
I'm not a female. I'm a male that is a genderfluid at this point. (Mostly female, than male.), if you might have guessed or not. I don't really expect much people liking me after this. But, besides that point. My life hasn't gone well in the past 3 to 5 years. That was when my depression began. (No, I'm not in a crisis or anything at all.)
Just for some backstory:
I don't know how it began. But, it just came to me out of nowhere. It was probably when I began feeling tired of life in general. I lost my motivation for life. I slowly lost my confidence in myself. I began having dreams and flashbacks to when I was younger. I remembered when I was more comfortable being feminine than a masculine. I never liked being a guy when I was younger. That I soon felt lost. I was fairly artistic back then. Where art was my best subject. I slowly began de-motivated in creating art or anything at all. I was naive and didn't understand my depression and the emotions that I had back then. But, today. I understand everything. Who I was and what I could possibly be in the future.
My reasons why I'm probably quitting.
1. My Depression and for My Personality to grow.
- Mainly, because my depression has been the worst ever since it began. I need to take time off to rest mentally. While taking this time to improve myself and being the person I wanted to be. If I ever come back later. It will hopefully be a better "me" than who I am now and in the past.
2. I've been forcing myself to play DW.
- In the past few weeks, I've been forcing myself to play DW. I think its just naturally better for me to take a break off from DW for a while.
3. School and other Life Factors.
4. I need to focus on my future.
- Right now, I'm 16 in Grade 11. Birthday is coming in less than 5 months. Yet, I still don't know what I want to pursue in life. I know I want to pursue art as my life, but I don't know what kind of art. Yet, I haven't found any motivation to get back on track and begin creating again.
5. Most of my previous friends on DW have quit and moved on.
- Each year, I've slowly lost some friends on DW. This is probably because made multiple accounts. Yet, I lost the password to some and lost friends that way. Or that I'm socially awkward among people. Including that they all moved on in life and matured. I just think its time for me to move on and being a new chapter.
- I need to begin maturing and learn how to control my emotions once again. As I've lost control of them. My sadness and fear had basically controlled my life for the past years. I hope to eventually to learn to control them. All the meanwhile maturing and being the person I am.
If you made it this far. Thanks for reading. I hope you understand my side of the story.
I understand if I lose reputation for this. I also want to say sorry for some of the people that I may have ticked off. Also, to say sorry to the people to the mistakes I've made. As I regret them all. Lastly, I'm sorry for the people that I've tricked/backstabbed to gain profit or anything.
I hope you forgive me for everything that I may have done wrong to you. I don't expect much forgiveness. But, I hope you understand where I'm coming from. I will also respect your opinion of me.
If I do quit permanently. I wish you the best in life and the world can offer to you. I want to thank some people that are still friends with me. I want to thank the people that once supported me. Thanks for the almost 5 years of Deepworld that I've experienced. Thanks for everything.
My previous names to be transparent with everyone.
- Leaf. (Katana.., Serena., Universal., Lyfe., and many more....)
I changed my name twice. Because I was scared that I would be witch-hunted down. I feel it was dumb for me to do that. Now, I'm ready to face the consequences of what I did. Please understand this carefully.
DW Best Friends that quit:
(Sakura7, Aente (Zante107), Prodigy., Phoenix., and many more...)
Friends that supported me.
(May 2013 - July 2014, September 2014 - June 2015, October 2015 - May 2016, December 2016 - February 2017, December 2017 - February 2018??)